It had been nearly a year since I’ve been here.
So I posted. But I have no clue what happened to it. Apparently, I forgot how to publish a post. Not surprising, since I also forgot my log in.
I will try this again.
I’m not sure why I haven’t blogged. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to or needed to, but I just haven’t been able to come here. I’m not sure exactly why.
My last post (you know, that I actually managed to publish) was after our zero fertilization with our last IVF cycle.
But I didn’t quit. I couldn’t. I wasn’t done. I couldn’t walk away.
So we did a donor egg cycle. It was not without ups and downs.
But it worked.
I am 29 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.
He was conceived with donor eggs as well as donor sperm as it seems that we are both broken beyond repair. We were rejected from the DE program based on Mr. Wonderful’s stellar sperm. We also learned his DNA fragmentation levels were quite high and that could have been what led to the zero fertilization with our last two cycles. He made the decision to use donor sperm. It was a tough call to make, for many reasons, but mostly, I worried how a child might feel who was conceived from both donor eggs and donor sperm.
We have made the decision not to share our son’s origins with anyone right now. I have family members who would treat him differently, especially with K being a fully biological child. We will allow it to be his decision if he wants people to know about his origins. To us, he is no less our child than his sister. He is our son. That’s really all that matters.
I’m still not sure what happened to my last post. Clearly I have no clue what I am doing here anymore. It may appear out of nowhere. I don’t have a clue.
I am so incredibly grateful to be where I am.
And I know I am so very lucky.